Lux
by sunANDdust
Summary: Sic luceat lux. So shines the light. I will not allow that God abandons his children. He had failed to tame my brother Lucifer, the bringer of light, and he will fail to tame me, Lux, because I am the light. suckATshortSUMMARIES,betterONEinside pls r&r
1. Chapter 1

And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

(, chapter 3, 2-5)

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><p>When my brother stroke Eve as serpent, our father was assailed by doubts for the first time and out of those doubts, anger and helplessness arose. The tree of knowledge had been a divine test and Adam and Eve were content not to eat of its fruits as an act of faith to God. But though my father believed in man as perfect and loyal all through, they´d disappointed him. My brother supplied evidence.<p>

Lucifer.

I´m indeed aware of the impact this name cause when he reachs a human ear but they´re mistaken; because they do not _know _him. If they only understood how much they owe him...how much he sacrificed. When God created man, we all were present to be a witness of Gods greatest act. I was very young back then; compared to my five brothers, I´ve been a child. I remember how Gabriel entered our chambers, Lucifers and mine, and told us that father wanted to see all of us.

We´ve been in the middle of a fiery conversation and I watched the indignant look Lucifer sent our brother. But Gabriel didn´t move or turn his gaze away from us until Lucifer helped me up from his bed we sat on and followed him. Walking next to tall Lucifer and with the giant Gabriel was right in front of me, I felt very small. Gabriel spread his wings a bid so a single feather slid soundlessly to the floor. I bent forwards and picked it up. Lucifer rolled his eyes about my action and grabbed my hand to pull me with him while I examined the black, silky feather. I wanted to keep it and I knew that Gabriel would like it. Then we met the others at the bottom of the great stairs where Lucifer let go of my hand to walk over to Raphael and Uriel. I was afraid that they would argue again and wanted to follow Lucifer to exhort him but obviously he wanted only to joke around a bid.

I watched him grin and bother Uriel and couldn´t help but smile.

Lucifer loved to argue, whenever he started a conversation it ended in hard words and loud voices, but he also was nice and joked around. Actually he was my only brother who owned that facility and I loved him for that. We both had the same chambers, we talked and discussed but we never argued. Together we went upstairs, a line of divine strenght as our father called us, and witnessed Gods greatest miracle: man.

I loved them right from the start and I´ll never forget when my father showed me the sleeping Adam; I thought I´d never seen something as beautiful as him before. Then he created Eve and when I looked at her, I couldn´t help but feel reminded of Lucifer and me. From then on I spent my time watching Adam and Eve as they spent their days in the world and the garden my father had created for them. He named it „Earth" and the garden „Paradise". Sometimes Lucifer followed and would land next to me, just to say: „Why do you spend your days with watching them, huh? Look at them, they´re not better than the animals around them." I always tried to retort but deep inside I knew he was right. They sat around and ate and nearly never talked, they watched the world all day but their eyes remained calm and blank.

It made me sad that something as beautiful and lovely as man were damned to live a life as a strange animal without any _understanding_.

Years passed but I needed longer than all the others to understand that heaven around me started burning. Sometimes Lucifer and father argued so angry and loud that lightning illuminated the suddenly dark clouds and thunder rolled over the world. Then I fled away from my viewing platform and hid in my chambers under my blanket. They´d yell at each other on an unprecedented scale, I´d sit there and cry and everytime I´d cry, it started raining and the thunder and lightning increasingly stopped.

I remember the horrible day when they argued as bad as never ever before; lightning and thunder never stopped and I heard Lucifer yell while my father growled back. I was so sad and scared that the rain reached a new higher level and swamped the Earth. That day Lucifer literally stormed into our chambers and nearly burried me in his arms. I cried even more and he whispered: „I´m sorry, I´m sorry!" He hugged me even tighter and when I looked up at him, he had tears in his eyes and his face was a mask of bitterness.

„I´ll never argue with father again. Never again, I promise." He knew that it made me cry. And a short time later he made his words come true: Lucifer would never argue with father again because he´d be exiled.

I cannot deny that he´d been the snake who persuaded Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge and I couldn`t understand why he did it, but together with my beloved brother I lost my childish naivete and understood why he´d fought with God that often.

I was present when they expelled him from heaven, I was present when my father announced Lucifers punishment for spoiling man. We were ordered to appear in a circle while my father made Lucifer step infront of him and banned him. Lucifer didn´t respond though my father expected an answer. I cried and watched the procedure when Michael stepped towards Lucifer and was forced to make sure my brother left heaven forever and would never come back. The famous „Fall of the Rebell Angels" was far less dramatically than the bible suggests. I´d never noticed before how many angels Lucifer had persuaded to worship his act and they all got banned. But there was no fight, no hate. Lucifer cried silently while Michael and his angelic hosts guided them to the gates of heaven. Rain poured down and my brother knew he fell only for him. That I cried only for him. He sent me one last look, full of sadness, despair, worry and a silent plea for forgiveness.

There was nothing I wouldn´t forgive him and I believe my wordless love and understanding made the parting easier for him.

God also banned Adam and Eve from paradise, they´d disappointed him very much and after all the sadness and fight, heaven became a silent, grim place.

That finally made me grow up. I couldn´t explain why God, our loving caring father had banned one of his sons. Of course, Lucifer had interfered his creation and changed them, but I couldn´t imagine that it was so bad that Adam and Eve _knew_! That they gained the skill to understand?

After Lucifer was banned, I needed a long time to get over losing a part of me and luckily my brothers were tactful enough to leave me alone until I was ready to face them again. Only my father tried to rip me out of sadness and ordered me daily to visit him. I refused.

But after a while, I wanted to _know_ and wondered increasingly if I also had eaten of the tree of knowledge because I started understanding the heaven in a lot different way than before. I pelted my father with questions. Why he´d created me as female though my brothers were men? Why he loved me so much? Why he banned Lucifer? Why Adam and Eve weren´t allowed to learn?

He answered with a fathers patient, strangely happy with me looking for more contact, but sometimes he refused to answer. Especially when it came to Lucifer.

„Father, why did you create us paired? I mean, I always see Michael and Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel and then...Lucifer and me. Now I´m alone!"

He´d caressed my cheeks and smiled. _My sun, everything needs a counterpart and a confidant. Your brothers also needed female temperance, especially Lucifer needed it. But you´re not only a thing which serves a purpose, you´re much more: our light. _ I frowned and looked at him. „I don´t understand."

I was despaired. It was the first time Gods decisions and words were not clear and understandable to me. But my father smiled and cited and old latin proverb: S_ic luceat lux._ My eyes widened when I translated it:

So shines the light.

God smiled at me and I stared back. „Lux...why of all things Lux?" _You will understand, my sun. You are my youngest child, something special and you´ll understand. Your name had been Lucifers idea. _I frowned. „I miss him, father.", I mumbled and stared into the air but felt strangely comforted: Lucifer proposed my name to god so he left me a part of him behind. As if he´d known that someday he would rebell against our father and would be forced to leave... „I miss him so much!"

_I know, Lux. I know, my sun._

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><p>23th November 2010<p>

I stood on my viewing platform and looked down to watch man, just the way I did it decades ago. They did not know that I´d been there before they even knew themselves and thought they´d become worser and worser over the years, I still loved them. Yeah, worser and worser were the right chosen words: I´d watched them beating their wifes because some old men spoke in churches that it was a husbands right; I watched them assault other countries, rape the women, kill the men, looting, torturing and all in the name of God...I felt a shiver run down my spine and wondered what made them think that God would like such a behaviour? Did they really believe, killing and raping of non-Christians would open the gates to heaven? The cool winter sun was about to rise and made my armor and wings shimmer golden while I stood there and the wind blew my hair around my face.

I stared down and watched the people how they started their daily lifes and thought about the fact that only my brothers names were known on earth but nobody knew mine. Maybe there was no space for a female archangel., I thought bitterly and turned around to muster the kingdom of heaven and my fathers castle. God had made no distinction between my male brothers and me, he loved us with the same love which included the man and the world. But on earth, the people of middle age and even later, were taught by so-called „men of god" that only the man was human and that the woman was worthless and to blame for the expulsion from Paradise. I couldn´t help but clench my teeth in helpless anger, whenever I heard a human man speak about woman as if she was dirt.

Yeah, Eve had taken the fruit from my brother, but only out of love for knowledge. My father never damned the woman for Eves disobedience, I also was a woman in a sort, his daughter, and he loved me. Maybe he´d even favored me a bid. And that´s the reason why no human knows you., I thought.

The armor was heavy but I got used to it soon after I´d assumed Lucifers duties as archangel.. Lux, the archangel of epiphany and insight, bringer of mind and the divine spark.

After I´d lost my brother, my father guarded me like gold so I never had any contact with human though I literally longed for it.

My eyes drew away from the blurred cloud I´d focused on so I was able to muster the castle in its entirety again. Then I noticed the dark spot at the crenelations of Gods fort which swung down the thick walls and slid through the air like a dark bird. I smiled silently when I recognized him. His beating wings blew cool air into my face when my brother Michael landed infront of me. He wore the same dark armor and had the same dark wings which distinguished us from the white wings of normal angels.

I greeted him with a smile. Michael smiled back and stepped closer to the edge. „Another day.", he whispered. „Another day which drowns in a sea of days." I watched him as his eyes stared down to the earth but instead of the lovefilled look he used to deign our children, Michaels eyes darkened and his lips pressed together. „My brother shows a serious face.", I said and couldn´t help but smile a bid about his frown. I could literally taste that he wanted to say something, but anything held him back.

Michael was a complicated man, nobody really knew what was going on in his head. Sometimes when I was a child and wanted to surprise him, I opened the door silently and stepped into his chambers. Still he should had heard me, he was a warrior, the general of Gods hosts. But always he sat on his bed or at his table, his back faced me and he was deep in thoughts. His face was fascinating when he mused, he frowned, stared grimly into space and didn´t notice anything around him. Michael was always serious, he nearly never joked or smiled or _laughed_. He was completely different from Lucifer but without my closest brother, I needed a new confidant and it turned out to be Michael. We´d been very close through all the years, because he promoted my secret thoughts and encouraged me to learn and question while Gabriel and Uriel reacted angrily whenever I asked something significant. Raphael was way too shy and soft, he never dared to have an own opinion and only thought what Uriel approved.

I mustered my brother and felt a hidden sadness about his hesitation.

„When did we stop talking, Michael?", it bursted out of my mouth and his blue eyes turned their attention over to me. I stepped closer to him, sneaked my arms around his shoulder and leaned my chin onto his arm, staring up at him. „Since when are we strangers to each other? I remember a time when my brother Michael was the person I told my most secret thoughts and hopes. I cannot feel it today." She felt his muscles relax but maybe he just hung his shoulders because his face showed the most serious expression I´d ever seen.

„Our father send me here to get you."

I rose a brow in surprise and felt increasingly irritated. A meeting of the archangels? Well, most of the time we spent our days with our duties and didn´t see each other. Only if something happened, our father gathered his children for a meeting.

„Our last consultation had been quite a while ago.", I mumbled to myself and scratched my neck absentmindedly. But my brother only shrugged his shoulders though I knew him way too good for falling for such a simple gesture. So I stepped back and looked at him sadly.

„My brother, something weights heavily on you."

„He lose his faith.", Michael whispered and those four words sent immediately a shiver down my spine. Filled with horror I remembered the last time God lost his faith in man: he sent the great floot to purifiy the world. Michael, me and surprisingly also Raphael had tried to persuade him that this was not the right way. But our father didn´t listen, he´d lost all his hope while Gabriel and Uriel announced that they would follow any order our father would give.

I didn´t notice my wings beated in concern. „Did he say that?", I asked and bit my lips when Michael shook his head. He didn´t try to comfort me though he saw the horror in my eyes; he took me by the hand and pulled me next to him so I was forced to look down. „Look what they´ve done.", he whispered bitterly. „They destroy Mother Earth- for what? Cars, atomic technology, war..."

I wanted to say _I know, but I can´t help. I still love them!_ But insetad I remained silent. Michael spoke on as if he´d been waiting thousend of years to get rid of them.

„Father is a patient and good man though I cannot approve of all his decisions. I never deplored Lucifers wish to illuminate the man, I never wanted him to leave no matter what he did. He loved you even more than our father did and it made me sick when I saw you ill of sadness, Lux. You were another person after he was gone." I smiled and suqeezed his hand lovingly.

„You feel ashamed? Because it was you who needed to send him away?" He didn´t react for a second but then Michael nodded.

„Lucifer wanted the best for man and in the end he only followed his nature: „Bringer of light" And further the human was fathers greatest creation, they didn´t deserve a life as an animal." He shook his head slowly as if he couldn´t understand the world anymore.

I mustered him. „Michael, please be honest with me. Does God lose his faith in man or is it you who lose his faith in God?"

I smiled at him but the worry in his eyes didn´t vanish. „Lux, this is not a game. I´m seriously afraid that..." „You didn´t answer my question.", I interrupted him and waited. Michael never answered off-handedly. „I don´t know.", he admitted quietly.

I was a bid surprised but then I nodded and silent worry sneaked up around my heart.

A Michael who didn´t know what he felt? Would god be able to send another floot? I shook my head slowly, stared into the clouds and enjoyed the sunlight. Whenever sun arose or was about to sink, I felt closer to my lost brother. We both were children of the light and so it connected us wherever he was.

My brother always loved human, he loved them even more when he´d „spoiled" them but I knew, they weren´t spoiled in his opinion. He was the bringer of light and just as Michael had said: he brought them the light.

Obviously Michael had noticed my changing expression and sighed sadly. „Still after all these years you cannot forget him? Lux, we cannot bring him back." His words worked like icewater being poured all over me. I felt anger exploding in my stomach.

„Did you only come here to tell me that? In that case you better leave right now.", I answered cheekily and pointed into our homes direction. But Michael didn´t leave. He smiled sadly and hung his wings a bid, for my part, I felt horribly ashamed. I bit my lips and whispered: „Sorry. I didn´t meant to..." „I know, Lux." Michael took my hand and examined it as if he´d never seen or touched it before. I sighed and patted his hand softly. „I guess I´ll never be able to forget him for only a single hour, Michael. You see...when father banned him, I felt as if someone tore my heart apart." When I lifted my look to his face, I noticed a deep sadness behind his soft expression.

„You were created as pair, Lucifer and you, my sister. Of course it is an insurmountable shock. You were meant to be with each other."

My eyes widened when I heard his last words and my jaw dropped. „You mean,..." I was not able to end my sentence but Michael understood and nodded. My voice sounded like a despondent breath before it filled with disgust. „But he was my brother, how..." „Father is waiting for us." Michael turned around and didn´t even bother to listen to me. How could my brother be so cruel? First he plays such an unknown and impossible information into my hands and then he leaves. I was still completely irritated but Michael obviously planned to rip me out of the river of thoughts he´d thrown me into a second ago. He was already above me, took my hand and pulled me up into the air. My wings opened instinctively and started beating so I was able to keep up with Michaels speed.

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><p>We landed right infront of the great stairs, obviously late because our other three brothers we´re already there and seemed to wait impatiently for us to arrive. Gabriel mustered us intensely and the look of his blue eyes clinged to our embraced hands for a second, then he said: „You´re late as always." Uriel nodded approvingly but remained silent. He´d never been a man of great words. Raphael only smiled, came over to me and kissed me on the forehead. His long blonde hair tickled my cheek and his calm gray eyes were full of affection. Though he was a tall man, he was soft, loving and shy and so quiet that I was surprised about his question when he asked: „You seem troubled, my sister Lux. What´s wrong?" I could only stare at him with the most expressionless look I was able to. „It´s nothing, brother Raphael. I´m only a bid irritated that our father wants to see us this early in the morning."<p>

Also Gabriel and Uriel came over to us and followed Raphaels gesture, one after another they kissed my forehead and surrounded me like a wall. I´m bound to say that their kisses felt strangely different. Uriels lips remained expressionless, there was no deep feeling in his touch as if he´d do it just because it was a rite. He didn´t even look at me when he stepped back; his chin-lenght light-brown hair shimmered and he had the same gray eyes as Raphael though they didn´t show the same kindness. He was the angel of earth, maybe that was the reason for his aloofness. Raphaels kiss was alost liminal, soft and full of affection; an unobtrusive brothers affection for his little sister.

Michael and Gabriel were another matter altogether, maybe because I felt closer to them. When Gabriel came nearer to me, I´d felt a secret tension spread from his body to mine. He´d hesitated a second before his lips touched my forehead, a touch full of a hidden feeling I could not describe. Then Michael kissed my forehead and his touch conveyed the same feeling as Gabriels though this strange tension was almost invisible. I had no more time to think about it, we formed a line; Raphael, Uriel, Michael, Gabriel and me.

Then we climbed up the stairs and entered our fathers chambers. Of course he was already waiting but his kind smiled warmed us all as we stopped infront of him. I mustered our father and noticed the tiredness he radiated. _My faithful._, he said and mustered us one after another. _I called you here to announce that our children, the man, can´t be tolerated the way they are._ Every single muscle in my body tensed and my eyes wandered over to Michael. I was not surprised that he also stared at me as if he wanted to say „I told you so!" The warmth his msile had caused a second ago, vanished. Now I was scared. Our father shook his head sadly and stared into space. _We´ve watched them kill and destroy the world I´ve created for them and they do not learn from their mistakes. They wallow in vice, beg for forgiveness just to go on as before. Thousend of years have passed and the great flood reached nothing. They still get deeper into the darkness. I´m tired, my children. _I felt as if somebody lay his hands around my neck and squeezed hard, I could not breath anymore. Michael stepped forwards and stared at God with horror in his eyes. „Father, you don´t know what you´re saying. This _cannot _be your decision!" But our father only nodded. _I´m afraid, my son, that this _is_ my decision. I´ll abandon man. _I heard an unbelieving gasp burst out of my mouth and immediately my brothers heads turned over to me, just as our fathers attention. Michael was not ready to give up.

„Not all of them follow the path to evil, father. There´s still something good in the world, something good in our children."

_My son, the star of man will sink, that´s for sure._ _I trust in all of you that you won´t disappoint me, because there´s something to do. _A womans picture appeared in my churning thoughts. She stood in the middle of a desert, her light-brown hair flew in the wind and her hands lay on her obvious rounded belly. She was pregnant.

As fast as it came, the picture disappeared and my eyes met my fathers look. _The woman carries the Messiah. He will unify the man and another golden age of man will start. But I´m tired. It´s simply a question of time before they´ll fall again. Michael!_ My brother stared back at him and waited._ Gather your hosts, swamp the world like the great flood and kill the child._

„NO, YOU CANNOT DO THAT!", I screamed and took a step forwards.

Gabriel lay his huge hand onto my shoulder to hold me back but I shook it off. „You cannot damn them, father. They are your children just as we are. Killing them is like killing us!" I made a gesture into my brothers direction. God didn´t react and I couldn´t help but storm right infront of our father, kneeled down and took his hand, pressing it against my cheek. Tears of despair streamed unimpeded down my face and I didn´t fight against my sobbing. No, no, no...Lucifer loved the man, he loved them with all their mistakes and enervation and it made me love them too. „Please, father, please...!", I whispered and looked up at him. The sky darkened and instead of rain, tiny snowflakes slid through the air. The first snow of the year. Our father looked down at me and for a second I saw doubt swamp his heart. _My daughter, especially you as woman...I thought especially you would..._

„No, father...! I love them. I love them so much, no matter what they migh have done or will do. My heart broke once already, please don´t break it again, please..."

My fathers hand tensed and he pulled it back slowly, looking down at me with bitter pity._ Gabriel _My gigantic brother stepped forwards. _Lead our light back to her chambers. She needs to calm down._ I felt Gabriels hands sneak around my shoulders as he pulled me to my feet. I felt as if my knees would drop me any moment, but I couldn´t tear my eyes away from our father. He cannot send me away without an answer., I thought and tried to push Gabriel away from me, but my hands were weak and suddenly my legs really dropped me. My brother grabbed me before I could fall and my pathetic attempt to push him away ended as me holding onto him for dear life. _Raphael and Uriel, you may leave. I´ll inform you if I´ll need you. But you, Michael..._I noticed that also Michael had turned to leave, but now he stopped in the middle of the movement._You stay here. I need to talk to you privately._

Michael sent me one last glance full of horror and despair and I was sure that he saw the same expression on my face. „Come on, Lux.", Gabriel whispered, sneaked his srong arm around my waist and then he guided me away.

No, I need to stay. I need to hear that!, I wanted to yell but Gabriel lay his right wing around me like a blanket and only a muffled sob came out of my mouth. The first snowflakes had turned increasingly into a snowsquall and I felt the cool drops meet my skin. „You need to stop crying, Lux.", Gabriel whispered but I couldn´t respond. The feeling of being strangled returned and I gasped for air hysterically. My brother sent me a worried look, then he opened the gates to my chambers with his elbow.

It was dark and warm inside and only a few candles illuminated the room. Gabriel let go of my waist and made me sit down onto the soft sheets, pulling his wing back and removing my armor. The weight disappeared and so I sat infront of him, wearing only a dark sleeveless dress. I turned around so he was facing my back, curled up into a ball and hid under my wings. My brother didn´t leave. I was sure that he stood inront of my bed and listened to my loud sobbing.

Right here, in the middle of my chambers, the centuries-old pain overhelmed me and shook me like a seizure. Once upon a time I´d shared my rooms with Luzifer who´d given up everything to help gods children, _our _children. And now our father would destroy everything my brother had fought for, everything I´d lost him for.

„Lux, don´t be that way.", Gabriel interrupted my pain and pushed my wings aside so he could see my shaking body. Then he sat down behind me and touched my shoulder softly. This time I didn´t try to shake him off, actually I enjoyed his physical closeness and lifted my head to look at him. I was not really surprised that he stared back at me, but the expression in his eyes stunned me. It was the feeling I´d felt when he kissed my forehead, but seeing it in his eyes it reminded me of fire. He took me by the hand and helped me up so I sat upright. It was the first time that I noticed the wetness on my cheeks and started to whipe it away, staring into space. „Don´t cry.", Gabriel whispered and I nodded, striking some hair out of my face.

When I looked at him again, I cringed, scared by his intense look. I wanted to ask him why, but my words got caught in my throat when he did something he´d never done before: He took my face into his hands and pulled me closer to him, kissing my left cheek. Then my right cheek, my nose, my temples and then my forehead. I was so petrified, I couldn´t move. My heart pounded faster and faster and though there was nothing strange about his closenes, his touches were so different. The kiss on my forehead persisted longer and his lips expressed a feeling of despair. He pulled back slowly and I couldn´t help but stare into his eyes, completely irritated. „Gabriel, what...?" I didn´t know how to end my sentence because Gabriel lay his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. He frowned, as if something hurted him and a soft murmur came out of his mouth. „My Lux...!"

„Gabriel, what is going on? I cannot understand it anymore.", I whispered and stared at him, still my heart pounded very fast, but he didn´t answer. Without another word he literally jumped up from my bed and left without another glance. I heard the door close behind him.

* * *

><p>Hello everyone! ^^ It´s me, LastRAINBOW and this is my first ff for <em>Legion<em>. Well, this story takes place before, while and after _Legion_. I added my OCs Lucifer (we will meet him later in the story!) and Lux, my main-character. I give you a short summary: Though man know only five archangels, God created a sixth, Lucifers younger sister Lux. She never got over the loss of her beloved brother, who´d sacrificed everything for man. Lux is accordingly shocked when God announces his decision; he´ll abandon the humankind but first, Michael needs to kill the Messiah. (here we get to _Legion)_ But Lux is ready to fight for man and the unborn child and follows her brothers path: she becomes a rebel.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading, my english is not perfect but I try my best. Reviews would be nice, I really would like to hear some honest criticism, wether you liked it or not.

See ya, guys! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Here you may come, but no further.

Here your proud waves shall be stayed?

(Job, chapter 38, 11)

* * *

><p>24th November 2010<p>

I´d spend my day with crying endlessly. After Gabriel had left, my cheeks heated, my fingers started shaking and my stomach revolted until icecold sweat covered my entire body. I felt sick and sad and totally exhausted. Nobody interrupted me. None of my brothers came to comfort or look after me, but I was not interested in being comforted so it wasn´t a big deal. All I wanted to know, was, what father and Michael had spoke about but I knew that Gabriel only waited for me to leave my chambers so he could take me back there.

When the sun set, I stopped crying and stepped infront of the window; the light on my face and my shoulders felt like the loving touch of my brother Lucifer. But the sunset was over soon and the night covered the world with its darkness and silence. I fell asleep, tired and pale as I was.

And in my dream I was wandering through a desert, asking all the people passing my way, where the ocean could be found. Most of them shook their heads but still one and another explained the way to me or pointed into a direction. Though I followed their advices and descriptions, the desert seemed endlessly, so when I finally saw the blue water very far away from me, I was overhelmed by joy. And crushed by bitter recognition. The water was a river, a river I´d only seen in his lenght so I´d thought it was the endless ocean.

In my sleep I cried despairedly.

But when I woke up in the morning, my thoughts were clear.

The heart beats his own way.

„After all these years you´re still with me, Lucifer.", I thought, noticing a second later that I´d said it aloud.

Then I recognized the big wooden bath tub in the middle of my room; the soft vapor which arose from the water inside, made my skin tickle and my mouth smile. I slipped out of the dress and threw it carelessly onto my bed where it lay as a big, black bundle. Then I dove into the hot water, washing the previous day tears and sweat off of me.

I sank carefully down until the water closed over my head, my wings` feathers floated movelessly around me and I remained that way.

Lucifer loved the water. „It helps the light shine brigther.", I heard him say and his voice was familiar to me like my own. I opened my eyes under water and cringed. A dark figure stood hovered over my bath tub and stared down at me. Slowly I pushed myself up so my head sticked out of the water. My relaxation vanished within seconds.

„Brother Michael...", I greeted him. My stomach felt like a heavy stone and the feeling of fear made the water turn into ice. I was freezing cold.

I lifted myself out of the bathtub.

My black hair was heavy from wetness. Michael reached his hand into my direction to help me, but I pressed my arms against me and grabbed my dress to cover me up.

Heavy silence remained between us, an unbearable formal and cold silence. He was in full armor which made it easier to face him. He was the general of the angelic hosts in those clothes, as if something of his character disappeared whenever he put his armor on.

„I see you´re...ready.", I said and mustered my steal hard reflexion on the dark metal.

Michael gave me a short nod, the way soldiers communicated with each others. But his voice was only a whisper when he said: „Our father chose me to kill the Messiah."

I knew tat he would say that. But the lifeless silence which spread inside me, came unexpected. I was scared.

„You...", I was able to whisper while I still tried to understand. „And will you follow his order?" Again he gave me that short nod, words were not necessary. I let the dress slip out of my hand and walked over to my cupboard to chose a new dress. The dark colour was consuming me. I took the first my fingers could grab; ironically it was yellow. A shield of cynism. The colour of sunlight.

Michaels eyes never left me when I was pulling it over my head and tied the cords on my ribs and waist together. It was quite a hard job cause my hands itched with desire to slap him right across the face. I´ve never had a disposition to violence, thought one of my brothers was a military leader; the brother I wanted to take out my disappointment on. But there was also another voice in my head, Lucifers voice. My only brother who owned the ability to love.

The hands of mine let go from the cords and sank peacefully down.

„Love one another!" I remembered the words of a man, who had spoken them over twothousend years ago. And I remembered Gabriel who explained, that „the son of man" was also a brother of mine in a special way; human crucified him. The light cried for another brother she´d lost.

A simple touch brought me back to present. Michael had come over to me and made the left untied cords together. Wordless I watched his hands create the artful knots down my ribs and my waist until they reached my hip. They were the hands of a warrior and seeing them working oh so softly send an unknown shiver down my spine. I took a deep breath and a step back but his fingers were still closed around the last one. And his eyes also rested on the delicate cleavage in my hip from where the dress fell departet down to the floor.

„I should leave."

I´d expected everything but that he´d leave. Michael turned around without wasting another word and disappeared. Leaving a very chruning me behind. I needed a second to curb my pulse back to a normal state and being the good daughter I was, I decided on not thinking about it anymore an put my armor on. That day it restetd heavily on me and when I was about to leave my chambers, something touched my mind like an auras breeze my brother left when entering. An echo of the words that were spoken before between my father and Michael.

„_Father, how can you order me for that? I do everything but why of all that?"_

_Michael lifted his look to Gods face. Father let his hands slide over his face like washing an invisible triedness from it. „My son,I can´t be fooled by you. You are the general of angelic hosts, it is your fate. Noone but you will erase the Messiah and I hope you bring your sister back to mind that this is none of her business" Gods face went out even more and his body literally sank deeper into his throne. „It´s better if we´re keeping an eye on her because I´m afraid she´s closer to her brother Lucifer than I ever thought." _

_Michaels body braced by those words. After thousend of years passing by, God had finally brought this name through his lips and somehow they hurled his son into the deepest darkest chasms of inexplicable agonies. The pain was written on his face when he pressed out between clenched teeth:_

„_My father, all those thousend years back in time you´d torn her away from everything that meant something to bringer of light needed a companion to tame him and you gave her to him.." With that he lifted himself up from the usually lowly stance and directed his painful look strictly at Gods face. „Two of your other sons were born with the wish to love and with stealing Lucifer from her arms, you didn´t only break her heart and shatter any chance to be happy...no, father...you also tore heaven apart. Your sons and the woman which belongs to another man" „I didn´t mean to!"_

_God lips quaked when he stared at Michael with numbed look. And the red-rimmed, moistly gleaming eyes of the great leader of angelic hosts filled with tears, leaving sparkling traces down his cheeks. The both men remained that way for a while until Michaels lips parted and he said: „You made a mistake, father. You sons can love and so paved their ways into agony and perdition. And your daughters too."_

„_I DIDN`T MEAN TO!" Gods voice echoed from the clouds like thunder, but Michael didn´t even cringe. „We all have our crosses to bear." And with that he turned around and left._

* * *

><p>Another day in a river of days, weeks, months and years. It´s quite ironically for a creature like me who´d seen centurys come and go, that a day feels like an hour. The sun set earlier today than the other days before. The light was tired and confused and so it decided to go to rest very soon. My thoughts were wholly inconsistent, full of ideas, doubts and the wish to do something about it. Neither me nor anybody else in heaven could deny that something was going horribly wrong. But obviously nobody, not even my brother Michael whom I admired the most of all, was willed to act. If only Lucifer were here, I thought and let my look ramble through the globe below my feet. Where are you, we need you here.<p>

Winter had come over the earth and I wondered if Lucifer knew why the snow was falling. Did he imagine his younger sister crying for him?

„Sister Lux" I turned around and saw Gabriel heading into my direction. He wore a black robe under his armor and gave him a deep aura of severity. „I was looking for you"

I nodded at him. „Brother Gabriel" His presence irritated me; we hadn´t met or talked since the strange kiss he gave me the day before. He was really a lump of a man and very handsome indeed. And when he stepped next to me, this secret tension arose between us. „How can I help you, Gabriel?", I asked him, anxious to keep distance. He recognized it wordlessly and asked: „How are you?" I gave hom an unbelieving look, gulped my unease down and said: „Good."

What does he achieve with that?, I wondered and stared down on my feet. „Michael had been at your chambers." That was a statement, not a question. „What did he want?" I lifted my eyes to his face in surprise. „Why do you want to know that?", I asked him but he closed his eyes and shook his head. „Please, Lux. Don´t question me this time, obey and give me an answer!", he hissed and I cringed from the rough tone in his voicwe. He´d never spoken to me that way. I let my wings sink, feeling even more uneasy. „He told me that father had chosen him for the order, that´s all", I said and tried to gulp the huge icelump in my throat down. My brother stepped closer to me and his wings beat uneasily thought his face remained its seriously expression. „What do you think about that?" I did not dare to look up at him. What was going on? Why did he aks such strange quetions?

„I don´t know.", I whispered, still staring down at my feet. But Gabriels huge still soft hand reached for my chin and lifted it up so he could look me in the eyes. „You do not trust me.", he said and I could see something like sadness in his eyes. That let the dam behind my eyes crumble. I grabbed his hand, holding onto it for dear life. „I´m scared, Gabriel!", I whispered, staring up at him with spilling eyes. „We cannot let our father do that. Man were always a matter but doesn´t he love them at all?" His hand sneaked up against my cheek, wiping away my tears with his thumb. „My Lux...", he whispered and stared at me as if he was far away. It irritated me. „Gabriel, we need to do something!" My words were followed by silence. His handmuscles tightened and it nearly hurted my cheek, but then they relaxed and a strange expession sneaked up in his eyes. For a second, he seemed to have a secret fight with himself, then he sighed.

„I have no choice. It´s not a pleasure to me to do that, my sister, but with this you´re arrested. I must ask you to follow us to your chambers where you´re not allowed to leave them as long as our father thinks best."

I´d expected everything but that...I felt my jaw drop but the words got stuck in my throat. What was about his search for more trust? Only a pretense to sound me out? I followed my first impulse, turned around, about to run away. But of course Gabriel had figured on that. He simply grabbed my arm, pulled me back against him and handed me over to two of the guardians of angelic hosts. „No...", I whimpered under their hard grabs as they pulled me away. I couldn´t help but turn around to face Gabriel with helpless surprise and disappointment. Shocked I stared at him and knew he could read the words in my eyes:

How can you do that?

„It´s our fathers will.", he said and it made my heart cramp painfully inside my chest. _Help me, Lucifer, they´re killing me!_, I catched myself thinking when another painful pulling let me slump down like a limb bundle.

Gabriel watched the guardians drag his sister away. She was more hanging between them than walking and the look she gave him...the pain inside him was unbearable, so he turned away, not able to watch the procedure any longer.

_It´s our fathers will. And his word is law._

* * *

><p>25th November 2010<p>

When the walls of my chambers began to move closer, I felt like choking. I jumped up from my bed and started to hammer on the door like a lunatic. „Let me out!", I yelled, pulling on the doorhandle. The massive wood gave some loud moaning and groaning but I couldn´t open it; neither did the guardians answer or open the themselve. My blowup ended in pathetic knocking and finally I gave up like the other four times before. I turned around and leaning against the door I slowly sank down to the ground.

Arrested! Arrested by the own brother like a rebellious child. Distrusted like a criminal by the own father.

_He´s suspicious. He fears a rebellion.,_ a voice whispered in my head. And maybe it was right.

Locking me in my chambers was the only possibility to keep me from taking part in the play; obviously my closeness to Lucifer gave me a certain background.

But above all the pain of being traitened by my family, I remembered what all this was about:

erasing man.

I must do something. I can´t stay anymore and hope it all turns out to end good.

Those thoughts overhelmed me and suddenly the weakness in my body vanished, an unbreakable resolve took its place. Within a second I was at my cupboard and ripped off my yellow dress. It was replaced by a grey one, a colour that wouldn´t catch as much attention; then I lifted myself into my armour. It was so heavy that it pushed the breath out of my lungs and for a second I was tempted to leave it in my chambers. _You´ll need every shelter you can get._, the voice said and so I still carried my armor when I walked over to the door, kneeling down infront of it. I was locked, there was no way out and so I did what our father had taught us to do in such desperate situations: I prayed. I prayed to – well, I didn´t know to whom. But that wasn´t important at all. What was important, was that _he_ heard me.

Now, brother Lucifer, help me!

With that my right fist hit the door and it flew open. The guardians were pushed away and the force send them flying through the air; fierce, pulsing light surrounded me and dazzled them so they couldn´t do anything but slap the hands infront of their eyes and stay in that rolled up position. _Now run as fast as you can._, the invisible guard with me ordered and I obeyed. I ran thought I didn´t know my goal. That was the fine but immense mistake of my plans. How was I supposed to stop God in his act? How could I fight mischief?

_You must follow me, sister. Follow me to earth, that´s the only way to fight them._

Lucifer!

Immediatley I stopped, staring into the dark nightsky which opened in front of me. Without real intention I´d taken the path to the edge of heaven cliff. Under my feet the globe lay in sleepy darkness and I finally understood that I was not alone. _He _was there and wouldn´t leave me alone. Lucifer you´re still with me., I thanked him but the silent dialogue with my brother was interrupted my hasty steps and the soudn of beating wings. I snapped around and the picture infront of me caught my breath in my lungs. The angelic hosts had gathered in their full forces, my brothers Uriel, Raphael, Gabriel and Michael led them like a quarter of law; something I didn´t belong to. Gabriel pulled the two soldiers he´d ordered to guard my prison; they looked scared and stepped closer to each other, about to keep as much distance to Gabriel as possible. They would get their punishement later, my brothers look was as good as a promise. With hopeful heartbeating I mustered my brothers faces: Raphaels eyes were filled with tears, he seemed overhelmed by surprise. Uriels hand lay on his sword and the expression in his eyes left no doubt that he´d cut me down without hesitation. That sent a shiver down my spine and I took a step back. The expelled might of Gods glory nearly made me give up. But then I heard the voice chuckle in amusement, he laughed about my childish fear. I took another step back and...

„Don´t go further, my sister Lux!", Gabriels strong voice echoed from the clouds around me. They were black and heavy of divine anger and were _so_ close to explode. I pulled my sword. I was a warrior as good as Gabriel or Michael, even faster than they could ever get. But I´d always denied that part of me as unworthy and shameful; I was not a destroyer, I was a creator.

Michael lay his hand onto Gabriels shoulder, gave him a strict look and passed him by to look at me. „Lux, I beg you! Don´t do that! When you go, you can never come back!" He sounded despaired. I grabbed my sword even tighter and let my eyes wander around, examining the faces that stared at me. Of course Michael was right. No angel, who´d left heaven without Gods permission, had ever return; the heavens gate would only open with Gods will.

Lucifer!

„No!", I heard myself yell when _the Fall_ appeared infront of my eyes.

„Lux! Come here, immediately!", Michael also yelled in sheer anger. „NO!" I gave him a flaming look and pointed at him. „I will not watch our father destroy everything we lived for! My brother Lucifer had been the only one who recognized that father is not tadellos and what happened? Father took him away from me, he tore me apart from my all and everything just because he wasn´t blind as you are!"

My voice was not my own anymore. It was a wild, angry screeching and seemed to cut through the clouds and the walls of Gods castle. Like blood from a rebroken wound, the words streamed out of my mouth, words I´d kept inside me for centuries.

„Don´t you see what´s happening? Don´t you even love man enough to fight for them?" I looked at each of them and they tried to avoid my glance. „Well, I do and I´m not willed to let them die!" With these words I looked directly at Michael and his painful eyes answered with silent pleads. „I am the light and I´ll follow my bringer.", I said much calmer as if it was only for him. I pushed my sword back into the sheath on my belt and took some more steps back without losing sight of them, until I felt the cliffs edge under my feet. Then I opened my arms wide, giving one last glance at the clouds and the castle. „Father, look at me!"

And with that I let myself fall.

* * *

><p>:D Heeey everybody! ^^ It´s been a while but my second term is almost over and thought I have exams, I feel like writing ^^ Well, yes I´m Last RAINBOW who started this story but somehow I was in the mood to change my name in here. :D Just for information so you won´t think sbd stole my story! :D<p>

This one is shorter than the last chapter but I hope you forgive me; in that case the next one will be longer, promise! ;) I thank for reviews and criticism


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